A Good Marriage

I've been away a few days. We ventured down to Long Island NY, where I grew up, for a family wedding--my nephew and his fiancee pledged themselves to each other in a church ceremony at St. Patrick's (in Huntington, not NYC!) It was a big church, very echo-y, stained glass, candles burning in alcoves. It was nice and the wedding was beautiful.

The priest preached a short homily based on a passage from John. In it he said a good marriage is based on two things--faithfulness and forgiveness. Fidelity is always key to a marriage, and forgiveness is even more key. But it's not my nephew's marriage I was suddenly thinking of, there as we tried not to make our Lutheran presence known ungracefully by adding the end to the Lord's Prayer. It was Christ's marriage--to the church.

That's what a good marriage is patterned on, really--the spouse's love is symbolized by Christ's (the bridegroom's) love for the church (the bride). And I believe that the priest's analogy can pertain to us as the church as well.

We must be faithful as Christ is faithful. That includes things like faithful worship attendance (how would your spouse like it if you only had supper together one Sunday a month?), reading the Word prayerfully (again, what kind of marriage would it be if you never spoke to one another?), and stewardship of gifts (statistics show marriages are stronger if both partners speak openly about finances--Jesus does). Faithfulness as the church also means taking on the issues that make the first last, the poor rich, and the excluded included--tough work in this religious culture of "church lite."

And that's where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness from our "spouse" Jesus when we fail to live up to our vows--our mission, our new life. And our own forgiveness of each other as we recognize that all fall short of God's glory. We are a much stronger marriage partner if we are unified in our acceptance and forgiveness of each other. Not that we allow people to run rough shod over us. But that we try hard (hard) to understand each other's unique life journey, and what causes them to err. That's called compassion, folks. You don't bite your hubby's head off if he comes home cranky from the office (and hubby doesn't stay cranky and apologizes). You feel for his day, cut him some slack, and wait for him to come to his senses. (Or work with him towards that end.) You forgive. Because you know you get cranky sometimes too.

A toast to my nephew and his bride. And a toast also to Christ and the church--may our life together be happy, faithful, and forgiving!

Pastor Tom