5 Out of 10 Bridesmaids Recommend You Pre-buy Your Oil

The price of a barrel of crude oil on the commodities market topped out in late July at over $140 a barrel. Heating oil and gasoline prices jumped up in response to this surge, striking fiduciary fear in the hearts and pocketbooks of homeowners, school districts, towns, churches, and businesses throughout the country.

Many tried to lock in a price—ridiculously high as it might be, for fear that it would go even higher sill. Others sought relief by applying for government assistance and winterization programs. A lot of fuel companies—including some of the larger ones—halted their “pre-buy” programs because there was just too much volatility in the market. They couldn’t be sure that what they sold in oil at one day’s price, might not be radically more expensive when they went to purchase it the next. Indeed, the prices fluctuated for the better part of a year, trending up—always up. There was even a record-breaking spike of $16 in one day! Surely there was depression in the people’s hearts, if not on the lips of the economists.

And then, a funny thing happened—well, not funny ha-ha, but funny strange—a funny, strange, unusual thing happened. The sleeping giant that is the American people woke up to find that their oil was “suddenly” in short supply! And they freaked out! First they all wanted hybrid cars, leaving the car makers awash in SUVs and trucks. Then they cut way back on the miles they drove those cars. Plus, at home, furnaces didn’t get turned on until one had to deice before shaving in the morning. Lights got turned off when kids left the room, amazingly. Towns and cities hunkered down and made plans for draconian budget cuts. And everyone cut back on their spending all at once.

In short, people started doing what they should have been doing all along. Because they knew this day was coming. Some day. They knew that they had enjoyed using a disproportionate amount of the world’s oil, cheaply, for some time now. And they knew that rising industrial countries like India and China were poised to swallow huge amounts of the world’s oil to satisfy the arid thirst of their rapidly Westernizing economies. Americans knew this day was coming. A day of reckoning. A day of judgment on their country’s consuming dependence on the bubbling crude—black gold, Texas tea, oil that is. That day, it seemed, was here. The operative question being—“Was it too late?”

Five out of ten bridesmaids recommend you pre-buy your oil, according to Jesus, who, by the way, is an excellent reference. Five of the ten waiting for the bridegroom to come and grab his newly-wed wife and lead the whole village to the banquet hall—their path lit by the light of the bridesmaids’ lamps. (Big wedding party, that is.) Five of the ten pre-bought extra oil for their lamps, as a precaution, just in case the groom was delayed. The other five took their lamps with no extra oil, possibly thinking optimistically that all would be well—no need to plan for the worst.

But of course, the worst does happen. The bridegroom doesn’t show at the appointed time, and after several hours of waiting the bridesmaids grow tired and go off to bed, turning their lamps down low, but ready to fire them up as soon as the watchmen signal the groom’s approach!

Which they do, just after midnight—with loud shouting and boisterous carrying on in general. The ten snap suddenly awake, and the five who were prepared fill their lamps and head for the door. But there they are stopped by the five fellow bridesmaids, who trusting in today, neglected to plan for tomorrow. Their lamps are empty—they need oil, and they know the others have some. But five out of ten recommended they pre-buy their oil, so, oh so sorry! Yeah, there’s none for you. If we are to light the way as expected, we’ll need all we’ve got.

And you know how it ends. The foolish five head down to see Gomer at the filling station. Then they run back—only to find the door closed and the bouncer telling them they’re not on “the list.” Bummer!

Moral of the story? Is it kinda like that of the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper? The ant labors hard all summer collecting food for the future hard times. The grasshopper plays his fiddle and dances away the warm months. Then, when winter breathes icily on his poor, hungry bod, old grasshopper looks for a handout from his “buddy,” the ant. Who basically tells him to take a flying leap. Moral: those who work hard and plan for the future make out. Those who goof off and live in the moment come to a bad end.

That certainly seems to be the moral of Jesus’ parable—at least it is when you approach it looking for some sort of righteous and just teaching. Which you could do I suppose. The five wise ones are rewarded for their foresight, the five fools lose out and have no one to blame but themselves. Case closed!

But, uh-oh—here’s a little problem. If this is a morality story, whose protagonists we are to emulate, then the lesson learned is to pre-buy your oil and don’t share it—because there’s only enough for you—even if it means your five frivolous friends sit out eternity a door’s width away from the great Messianic banquet. You don’t care—because you got yours. You earned it by being proactive, shrewd, wise and ambitious, Machiavellian even!

Sound good? No, that sounds a little “un-Jesus-like.” A lot, really. So I suppose we’ll have to shelve the ant’s story (snatch the grasshopper from my hand). And return to this parable with different eyes.

Well, what eyes are we to use in interpreting this parable and discovering its application in our lives? Simple. We need to use eyes that see beyond the horizon, eyes that view this parable, not as a morality tale, but as an example, an illustration, a page from “Jesus for Dummies,” if you will. Have you ever seen the television show “Numbers?” It’s a crime drama in which Don Epps is a FBI agent, who, in solving cases, uses the expertise of his genius mathematician brother, Charlie. This brilliant, but esoteric, professor uses highly complicated math formulas and hypotheses and theories to crack the case—filling up several chalk boards in the process. And there’s always a scene in which Charlie tells the assembled agents something like, “I used Deverough’s constant of refracted light in conjunction with the post-function of newton’s game theory to determine where the bomber will strike next.” Blank faces all around. So then he says, “It’s like this: imagine a dog chasing his tail. He always ends up facing in one direction.” And they all nod excitedly, understanding at last.

Same with Jesus’ teaching. Not the bit about the dog—but the complexity of the concept he’s trying to relay to the disciples. He was going to be arrested, humiliated, beaten, crucified, and buried. BUT, he was going to be raised from the dead, then ascend to the Father. AND, (and this is what he’s talking about with his parable) AND on the day of the Lord, he would return. So be ready.

Blank faces.

So he simplifies it for them with a story. A story that’s not meant to be taken literally, or analogically, or even metaphorically. It’s a story that’s meant to convey the raw materials of understanding. Which in this case is very simply, “be ready.” The story is about five who were ready, and five who were not. And that’s it. Oh, there is the shocking part where the five smarties refuse to share with their grasshopper-y friends. But that is not instructional—it’s only meant to heighten the message of readiness. (Being ready is important—How important?—Well, imagine a bridesmaid doing this…)

So, be ready. That’s what this parable says. Be ready for Jesus.. And it is a good reminder of that part of our faith. The part that comes after:

Christ has died.

Christ is risen.

Christ will come again!

We don’t emphasize that last one too much. We don’t live on the edge of the ages as the early church did. We don’t expect judgment day anytime soon—it’s not in the ol’ PDA. We don’t look for Jesus coming on the clouds, ushering in the long awaited reign of God—the new heaven and earth, the peaceable kingdom. We just don’t think of it often, despite the fact that we recite it weekly in the creed. Yes, we focus on it briefly during Advent (which by the way begins in three weeks!). But the rest of the church year, it’s mainly “Christ has died, Christ is risen,” and that’s it.

So what are we to do? How best to put this gospel reading into practice? If five out of ten bridesmaids recommend you pre-buy your oil, what does that look like? What does it mean to be ready, to keep awake, as Jesus puts it?

Well, imagine this…a country dependant on oil begins to run out. Waking up to that vision of the future, the people do something – they act as they always should have, knowing that the day was coming. They become good stewards. They become innovative. They become proactive. They become willing to see things differently from the way they always have been. They become ready.

Just as much as this parable reminds us the Christ will come again, it also suggests a way to be—while we are between the ages. We act as we would act if Jesus were already here. That’s being ready! So…

We love one another, and our neighbors—even our enemies.

We live unselfishly, caring the most for the least.

We are good stewards with what God has first given us, using these gifts to sustain the church’s mission and help those in need.

We work towards justice and righteousness because we know it pleases God.

We realize that being ready is hard work, that we will tire of it and slack off, just as when the price of oil dropped back down to $60 a barrel, some of us got the old Escalade out of mothballs, and began to forget that fossil fuels are still foreseeably finite. We are human after all.

So we accept the fact that despite our best efforts we can never be sinless and ready for judgment, but that God washes away our sin and opens the doors of heaven to us, thanks to the love of Christ Jesus.

And that’s what we’re to be ready for. So wake up Messiah Lutheran Church! Wake up! Wake up and live life ready! AMEN